Pulling my hair out, is the new version just buggy? now silkscreen values won't move

What KiCad version are you using?
There is a bug in V8.0.2 with text selection on (at least) the Fab layers, and maybe this bug is a bit wider and also (sometimes?) affects footprint texts on other layers.

Re-installing KiCad is unlikely to make any difference. KiCad V8.0.3 should fix at least the bugs on the Fab layer and I expect this version to be released very soon. (I’ve already seen an RC.)