I’ve been looking at this thread for the better part of a week now, and am still at loss for a decent answer.
Sure, my remark in that other thread was not very subtle, but it was not insulting or meant in any demeaning way. Apparently it got interpreted that way, and I am sory for that and apologize.
I made the answer out of confusion. If he knows the “better answer”, then why does he not post that?
There have been quite a lot of topics where I did not know the answer myself, spent half an hour or more just to figure out how some thing works in KiCad, and then post the answer.
But I also believe it cuts both ways. To me, the reaction of baldengineer seems quite extreme and over the top.
It reminds me of
People are humans, and humans make mistakes, and as a result, you need to be tolerant of mistakes other people make.
I guess that the amount of posts I create (and time I spend on this forum) also distorts the situation. I am not a moderator, am not an “official representative” of this forum. I am just a regular user who tends to post a lot.
I have never been good at interpreting social relations, and people reacting emotionally to something that was meant to be practical quite often baffles me. From reading other reactions in this thread, it becomes clear to me there is quite a range of responses from different people.
You do indeed post a lot, and are a wealth of kicad knowledge. Likewise, @baldengineer has contributed a lot of great insight on this forum. It’s a real shame that this escalated as it has, and the kicad community would lose valuable contributions if either of you left.
Sigh – I get myself into similar situations from time to time, due to being a bit asperger (like many engineers), so I understand your perspective. Not everyone is empathetic.
I hope you guys can put this behind you, and we can just start sharing knowledge again.
Does anyone have a way to contact @baldengineer outside of this forum? I was hoping he would come back and read some posts in this thread at least but I guess not. If someone has a way to reach out, he might could at least come back and give the forum a second chance.
It’s simply a matter of etiquette and politeness. I don’t think it is polite to tell others what they should or should not post. Some people like argument for argument’s sake; save that for when you are within striking distance, not hiding behind a keyboard.
I have been using KiCAD for almost 10 years now, and Protel before that, but I seldom post here because it sometimes seems like a shark tank. I just read, and try to absorb the vast knowledge contained here, but have no appetite for argument…there’s more to life than being right.
Therein lies the problem: no one NEEDS to be tolerant, if the post in question seems pointed at them. And you are not the arbiter of what others need to do. There is such a thing as ‘emotional intelligence’; the ability to get along with others depends on it, and it has nothing to do with IQ. Again, there’s more to life than being right.
20+ years ago a psychologist told me that if you say:
1.In such situation you should not do that.
than everyone perceive it as a personal attack. But when you say:
2. In such situation it is better to not do that.
nobody will perceive it as personal attack as it’s not directed at him, it’s just a general statement.
But I think here we come to differences in languages. In Polish sentence 1. can’t be used in meaning of sentence 2 while in English I suppose it not only can be used but often it is practically understood as 2. In Polish sentence 1 is always directly addressed to your interlocutor and can’t be understood as being addressed to all people, while sentence 2 is always aimed at the entire population.
English is not my natural language, so I’m not sure how people exactly perceive these sentences but knowing that they have in English very close meaning (not sure, but I think so) I suppose that people may perceive sentence 1 as 2 and 2 as 1.
Because of the huge difference in these sentences in Polish and that paulvdh used 2 I from beginning didn’t see any personal attack in what he said. I only agreed that it would be better to not say anything.
But if in his language the difference between 1 and 2 is the same as in Polish than I perfectly understand that in his intention he didn’t said anything personally directed and he was very surprised by the extremely violent reaction.
And generally (in Polish) there is nothing wrong in saying some global rule if it is true as it is clearly not addressed to anyone personally. May be in English it is different.
Ohhhhhhhhhh, this subject doesn’t want go away; so, with a little luck this will be the END.
The above comment was the start of the problem. The comment was directed at baldengineer.
This below was the reply.
The comment can be interpreted as: baldengineer really couldn’t remember, or, used this as an excuse because he didn’t want to be shown as giving a less than perfect answer.
The below was the final comment.
The quote was given and the second person singular “you” was used. This means it was directed at baldengineer.
Had the quote been missing and the sentence been constructed in a manner to show “you” as second person plural or an alternative such as “If anyone knows…” the comment would have been directed at the general population.
I doubt the last sentence, repeated below, was even noticed by baldengineer.
A while back I’ve been seeing some video’s from Marshall Rosenberg about “non violent communication”. (The giraffe and jackal thing). It is a truly amazing technique, but it is also very subtle. I’ve also seen some video’s from others teaching the same technique, but (at least to me) they tend to miss some details and the essence get (mostly) lost.
I’ve bookmarked this thread and will read it again soon at a moment my mind is more open to psychological input.
I have set a closing timer for this topic. We will hardly get any important fresh views, opinions have already been shared. If somebody has something really new and different, they can open a new topic or ask in a PM to open this again.
